DISCLAIMER Information disseminated by Autism South Africa is for information purposes only. The onus rests with the reader to explore and investigate the relevant information and alternatives for each individual.
Information sent out does not imply that Autism South Africa underwrites or endorses any particular therapy, intervention, method or medication. Autism South Africa assumes no responsibility for the use made of any information provided herein.
Circle of Friends and Inclusion
Background
The Circle of Friends approach originated in North America as one of a range of strategies to promote the inclusion into mainstream school of students with disabilities and difficulties (Whitaker et al, 1998). It was also developed to support the process of including people with disabilities in local communities where they had previously lived in institutions (Forest & Lusthaus, 1989). The Circle of Friends approach recognises that a child who displays distressed and difficult behaviours is likely to suffer from isolation from their peer group, both in and out of school (Newton et al, 1996). This isolation or rejection can damage the child's sense of self but acceptance and friendship can foster growth and enable the child, in turn, to contribute to the school community to which they belong (Whitaker et al 1998).
The Circle of Friends approach is often used to assist children with an ASD to develop their social and communication skills, as this is an area in which they will often have difficulties. As Howlin (1998) states, one of the most difficult and demanding tasks for children with autism is learning how to interact appropriately with children of their own age. As a result of these difficulties, individuals on the spectrum may lack the necessary skills to understand that friendships are based on mutual empathy and shared understanding (Leicester City Council & Leicestershire County Council, 1998). An individual with an ASD may be aware of his or her own difficulties and find it stressful and frustrating when their continuing attempts to make or maintain a friendship are not successful (Leicester City Council & Leicestershire County Council, 1998).
It is hard to know if children with Asperger Syndrome are as lonely as their parents believe they are. Psychologists do know that playing with a friend, making a friend and being with a friend are "overwhelming skills" for Aspies. Other people make no sense to children with Asperger Syndrome and as one author writes, "they are totally preoccupied with their own agendas."
Teaching Aspies social skills is a formidable task for parents and teachers. It is not like teaching how to ride a bicycle or tie a shoe, but rather trying to teach something no one formally taught you. How did you learn how to read a room? How do you teach someone how to read a room, especially someone who has no understanding of other people's emotions and body language? Children with Asperger Syndrome have no idea about how to reason socially and come up with proper courses of action in social situations. For example, one boy with Asperger Syndrome got lost in the school corridors on his way to gym. He had forgotten the route, but he did not think to simply follow his classmates to the gym.
Yet clinicians emphasize the need to teach Aspies social skills because they desperately need them to get along in life. As one author writes, the Aspie lack of social understanding "virtually colors every other experience in their lives." Yet the question of whether children with Asperger Syndrome are truly lonely and want friends is a different discussion. Like all children, some are extroverted and others are more withdrawn. Like all children, they probably vary in their need for social interactions.